How Am I Going To Live Without You?
by dolvettquince
Summary: Brooke Davis thought her life was going great, until she hit a crossroads with her boyfriend, Julian Baker. A week later he has to leave, and it's harder than Brooke ever thought it would ever be to try to move on. Brooke/Julian. Rated T to be safe.
1. Suffering

**A/N: Hey guys! For those of you who were kind enough to read either of my Brulian one-shots, and favourite them and even review thank you!!! This is not the original long story I had in mind, but that one will be coming, once I think of a beginning. This is a different one that isn't as AU as my other, and I just had to write it. Just so you know, this begins at the end of 6.18, after Julian walks out the door, just so you all know. And I'm sorry this chapter is so morose, it just starts out that way :)_____________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the actors of the show.

**Chapter One**

Brooke stood there, just staring at the door, unable to move, even to the couch, she barely even noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks, as they rolled off her face, and hit her arms that were folded lightly across her cheeks, and then fell silently to the floor. Suddenly, she jumped, hearing music begin to play. It was her phone, which she had sitting on the island in the kitchen, the ringer as loud as it would go. That wasn't normal for Brooke, she usually had it on vibrate or low. If anyone were to ask, she'd of course say it was because she was waiting for a call for Sam, but she had really been waiting to see if Julian would call. Before he had come over, there were two very different parts of her arguing inside her head, one just wanting to hear his voice, talk to him, work it out, and if he didn't call, she would call him, but the other side of her brain, the more practical side, was nervous about talking to him. She had a feeling that something was coming, something bad. She just knew that the sooner she talked to him, the sooner she'd be unhappy.

The phone rang again, and though that first ring was what had pulled her out of her numb state, it was also the thing that had brought her into thoughts she didn't really want to visit right now, thoughts of him. This second ring did more than the first, which had just activated her mind; this second one activated her body. She slowly walked over to her cell phone, and saw it was Peyton. Again, an argument went on inside her mind. She wanted to talk to her best friend, to be comforted, to tell her what happened, but truly, what she really wanted was to just curl up on her bed, and finally let her emotions have their way with her. She couldn't, and didn't even want to talk to anyone right now; she just wanted to be alone. Well, that wasn't entirely true. There was one person who could make her pain disappear; the one who had caused it.

As she opened her phone and pressed the ignore button, she shook her head. No. He hadn't caused her pain, not really. She brought this on herself, being so closed off. She had basically ended the relationship; the movie cancellation had just really given them both a reason. If she had only told the truth! As she thought this, she sighed. She didn't even know the truth anymore.

She walked into her room and got ready for bed, though she knew she wouldn't get any sleep that night. While doing this, she slowly let the pain that was growing stronger and stronger, just waiting to be let out in loud, broken sobs, consume her. First, it was pleasant. Well, as pleasant as pain can be. At first, she remembered the good times with Julian. It was nice to remember these, but also painful. Things had been so simple such a short time ago. Then they all suddenly changed with three little words that had been spoken by him in her kitchen just a week ago, that she had not spoken back. Thinking of that day, that was when the pain started to get worse. As the silent tears obtained a volume, she just fell into her bed, not even going under the covers. She felt cold anyway, so what would blankets do?

The memories would float from present to recent-past, and back again. Though she had only had maybe about two hours away from him, though because of the pain of loss, it seemed like days, she missed him already. She turned now on her bed to face the side he usually slept on when he stayed the night, as she was remembering the first time he had spent the night, and she had opened her eyes that morning, only to be staring in his. When she opened her eyes now, however, she wasn't greeted with that same fuzzy feeling inside, as she was that day. She was only filled with more emptiness. This only brought on another round of hysterics, and she knew she couldn't fight them back, she couldn't even try.

The night soon turned to day, the dark to light. It had only been eight hours, yet it seemed like much, much more to Brooke. It felt like days, no weeks, no months. Hell, it felt like years! She turned to face her alarm clock, but couldn't understand what it said. She realized this was because there were _still_ tears in her eyes, clouding her vision. She was shocked when she saw it was only six in the morning. This was not the only time the alarm clock had shocked her though. When the tears had stopped the rare time, or slowed down enough in the night for her vision to be even the least bit clear, she slowly moved over to see the time. She couldn't believe that it was moving so slowly, when the pain made it seem like much more had gone by. She wondered what had woke her up. Well, not woken her up, exactly, seeing how she had never gone to sleep. But what had distracted her and her pain enough for her to actually think straight for at least a moment. This was when she heard her phone ringing from the bedside table on the other side of her bed; on Julian's side. She couldn't believe she hadn't changed it to vibrate. Well, yeah, she kind of could. She was a little distracted last night to remember to do that. As she stared at her phone, stared past the empty sheets beside her that, just last week, had someone lying in them, and began to wonder who called. She could've easily just reached over and grabbed the phone; that's what any normal person would do. But Brooke just seemed scared. She had no idea why, it was just sheets. But it was like when someone dies, and you just can't bear to go into their room, especially the day after it happens. She knew no one had died. Not literally anyway. But in truth, it was like someone had died. A part of Brooke died as Julian walked out the door. Or maybe he just took that part with him. Either one, she wanted it back. She didn't seem whole without that part of herself, she didn't seem _happy_. And she didn't think she ever could again.

She sighed as she stretched, knowing that she would have to get up sooner or later, so she might as well now. She walked into the bathroom and was shocked, but not so much, at her appearance in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks were all red, and her eyes were red and puffy. She couldn't remember a time when she had looked so sad.

After she had fixed herself up as much as she could, and had gotten dressed for the day; she was planning to put up the numbness again and just pretend it was any other normal day, she walked around the bed, and reached for her phone. She had two missed calls. Peyton had called again, and Sam had too. Hmm, that was weird. Shouldn't Sam be in the house, still sleeping?

Brooke walked out of her room, shutting the door behind her, she wanted to stay out of that room for a little while, and walked across the hall to Sam's room. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again. No answer. Once more, twice, no answer. Brooke really hoped Sam hadn't gone back to her old ways and had snuck out. She opened the door, and Sam's bed was already made, but the window was shut, which wasn't the case if she had snuck out. Brooke knew Sam had come in last night though, so did that mean she was up already? She walked into the kitchen, needing something to eat, though she didn't feel hungry at all.

She looked around, in the kitchen, and then took a peak in the living room, but Sam wasn't in either. She was both annoyed and relieved. Annoyed because she had no idea where Sam was, and this wasn't like Sam, but relieved because she didn't have to start putting up her false, happy pretence yet.

She decided to just make herself a coffee, to wake herself up. As she dragged her feet along the floor of her house, she suddenly noticed a bright, neon paper stuck to the fridge; one of Sam's papers. She picked up her feet and grabbed the note off the fridge. It was from Sam, of course. It read:

_Hey Brooke, if you're reading this, that means you woke up before I got back. Don't worry, I didn't run away or anything. I just went to the café to get something to eat and meet with someone I need to see. If you're not there when I get back, I love you ,I hope you're okay and I'll see you later. Just remember, everything happens for a reason._

_Sam._

Brooke smiled as she read the note. Sam had come in the night before and Brooke had told her what happened, in so many words. She had also apologized for blaming her for stealing, which Julian had actually been the problem solver in that situation. He was so good with Sam, and she trusted him. She had actually told Julian about the mishap before Brooke. In fact, she didn't even tell Brooke, Julian did. It was nice to see how close they had gotten, but it also tightened her stomach to see that she was a big part of the reason why Sam was going to lose someone else she had gotten so close to. Someone she loved. Brooke sighed. Even Sam can love him.

She read the note again, trying to get her mind off of that situation, and was happy to see that she was spending time with her friends. Brooke could only guess that she was spending time with Jack, after their long-needed reunion last night, but little did Brooke know that Sam was really having a meeting with someone else, someone that Brooke couldn't get off her mind …

**A/N: So, that was the first chapter. I'm sorry it was so short. It's two in the morning, so I'm surprised I got this much. The other chapters will be much longer, this one is only so short because I wanted to base it just on Brooke's pain. Next chapter will mainly be Sam and her meeting with _______ at the café. Questions for the reviews: 1) Who do you think Sam is meeting with? 2) What about? 3) Do you like it so far, or do you think I should stop it before I start it?**

**I'll try to update as soon as possible, but I might not, at the latest, until Wednesday-Thursday. Tomorrow's episode will probably just make me chronically depressed for a little while. But if I get three to five reviews, then I will try to update tomorrow or Tuesday. So please click the little green button below and review! Thanks!**


	2. Father and Daughter

**A/N: WOW! I uploaded this story about eighteen hours ago; no, not even that, and there is already seven reviews! Not only that, I can't even begin to count how many people have favourited and/or put this story, and even me, as an author on their alert list. I feel so special :D**

**Responses to reviews:**

_**ashstalker**_**, I **_**loved**_** your review! Made me smile a lot, especially the last part. Thank you!**

_**infinite lullaby and sunshine,**_** thank you both! And yes, she's obviously meeting him ******

_**Angell4NEPatriots**__**,**_** thanks! I didn't like writing it, I hate seeing her in pain, but I wanted to show her loss without him. You're probably the closest about number two, Angel :D**

_**Ghostwriter**_**, thank you!**

_**Vette and Melissa,**_** thanks guys! I'll try to update close together, if not, I'll tell you all if I won't!**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________**

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the actors of the show.

**Chapter Two.**

Sam really hoped that he would show. He sounded really unsure on the phone, so she was really nervous as she rounded the corner at a quick pace, for her, with her hands in her pocket, trying to get to the café as soon as possible.

She remembered last night when Brooke had told her what had happened. She was sad, and worried too, and she could tell Brooke was positive it was the end. She wasn't so sure, however. It wasn't like him to just give up without a fight. Hell, she'd heard him say, "I'll fight for you," a million times over! If he was just using this movie cancellation just as a way out, it looked like a grown man would be getting his ass kicked by a teenager today.

But Sam really doubted that would happen. She didn't mean her not being able to kick Julian's ass; she could see her being able to take him down. But she didn't see him just leaving like that; he must have something up his sleeve. But _why_ would he put Brooke through all that pain that Sam knew she had went through? She'd have to punch him at least once for that one.

She really hoped for Brooke's sake that Julian wasn't going to be like that. Sam had gone to bed a little bit after Brooke, and she had stayed up all night. It wasn't the sobbing coming from the room of the woman that had taken on the role of her mom in the past few months, but she was really just thinking. It seemed she always had to be the problem solver around here. She had to talk to him, to find out what his deal was, and tell him what her brain had conjured up during the night.

She peered in the window of the café to see if he was there. If he wasn't, she was just going to walk right past and go and spend some valuable time with Jack. She wasn't going to wait around at a booth for Julian to come. She had told him 6:15am, and if he wasn't there, then so be it.

But he was there, sitting at what seemed to be the only booth he ever sat in, coffee in hand, tapping at the cup with his fingers, with an expression both thoughtful and sad on his face. Sam took a deep breath and reached for the door, pushing it open with the lightest force, completely worried about what would happen next.

The bells above the door signified her entrance. It seemed, like it always did, that everyone in the café turned to look toward the door as she walked in. Well, almost everyone. Julian was looking down into his coffee, spinning his metal spoon round and round in the cup, as if he saw something inside it that wasn't there. Sam breathed in, and out, again, and this time a number of wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen made their appearance. She was hungry. If it was any other time, if she was there for any other reason, she would've practically ran right to one of the seats by the counter and order some delicious food. The idea of getting food made her mouth nearly water, but she shook her head. There was something she had to do first.

She slowly made her way to the corner of the café; the last booth; the one Julian was in.

She slid into the seat across from him, and didn't talk. She was about to say something when a waitress came by and asked her if she would like anything. She was both relieved and annoyed. She ordered, and as the waitress left, she tried again, starting off more hostel than she had planned.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even know what Brooke is going through? I thought you would 'fight for her'? What happened to _that_?" Sam's hands met with the table with a force, and she practically yelled the last word, but was still really keeping her voice at a very low volume. She breathed deeply a few times, trying to calm herself down. She leaned back into the seat and crossed her arms, putting a grimace on her face as she looked up to stare Julian in the face for the first time.

Her expression soon became a weak shadow of his. She couldn't help but feel bad for him. The look on his face … well there were really no words for it. No one should ever look that sad, that, that _dejected_. No, that wasn't the word. He looked like he had just lost his world, and Sam hoped, _really_ hoped, that this was the case.

She didn't mean it the way it would seem to most people though, she just meant that she hoped that Brooke really did mean the world to him, _was_ his world. And she wanted to help him get his world back.

After she had actually looked at his face, and that he obviously noticed that she did, and saw the pain he was trying really hard to hide from the world, he looked down again, staring into his empty coffee cup, and Sam heard him mumble only a few words in a broken voice, that was probably just a weak echo of the sobs that wanted to break free of his chest. His words sounded like they were just to himself, and she didn't know for sure, maybe they were. "She's a runner, and I don't think she wants to be caught."

His words caught her off guard; they weren't what she was expecting. She didn't know exactly what he meant either. Was he talking in his cryptic little way that he usually did with Brooke? Saying something that could be said so simply, but changing the words to make it seem insightful? Sam didn't know, but she wanted to. Very softly, trying to make her voice as different from before, she said, "What? What do you mean, Julian? She's a runner?"

She heard him sigh, and he slowly looked up at her and she could see that his eyes were red, and very puffy. "Look, it's … just, never mind. It's over now, anyway." He said the words, but even Sam could tell that as he said them he truly didn't believe them. "Why did you call me down here, Samson?"

Sam felt her lips pull up a bit at the corners. Using his nickname for her, as much as she hated it, it was a good sign. Sam took in a deep breath, wanting to get out her idea as quick as possible. She wasn't sure if he would hear it all, but hopefully he did. "Julian, Brooke told me what happened last night, which you probably already guessed. Sure, at first I was pissed at you, probably the thought of strangling you came into my mind for a second or two, but I thought that this wasn't like you. You wouldn't just _give up_. You wouldn't use the movie cancellation as an excuse. Brooke told me you accused her of hiding behind me. I'll admit, that is true, but it seems to me that you're doing the exact same thing with the cancellation. I think they call that a hypocrite. I was up all night, not because of Brooke crying all night, which I heard from across the room, but I was trying to figure out what you were and are planning –"

Julian cut her off there, interrupting her, his voice sounding a little bit clearer, but still hoarse, and not as morose, but more anxious. "Brooke was crying _all_ night?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Well, _duh_. What do you think? You'd leave and she'd call up Peyton and Haley to have a 'Julian's leaving, woo hoo' party? You know her better than that."

He shook his head. "No, I didn't think she'd be happy. But I didn't think she'd care that much. She definitely hasn't shown it in the past few days. I was trying, Sam, really hard, you know that, but I just think she doesn't want me to try."

"Julian, for a mathlete turned movie producer, you sure are dense sometimes. She may not love you, not yet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't _care_. You know that. She's just scared, and you know that too. So I shouldn't have to repeat her words back to you. Now I can tell you have some idea brewing in your mind, and if you don't tell me, I'm going to set mine into action, whether you like it or not."

For the first time, Julian's face showed an emotion not related to sadness; well other than anxiety. He sent Sam a glare from across the table; he hated her sarcastic stubbornness, and her dry humour, but when he thought about it, that was like hating himself. The two were so alike, so he might as well just tell her because since they had so much in common, and they both knew Brooke so well, Sam could give him some advice. "Fine. I'll tell you. But only because you're so damn annoying." As he said this, the grimace soon left his face, an anticipation-like emotion taking its place. "When I first went to the house last night, my original plan, hell, I didn't have a plan. I was hoping she would ask me to stay, but she obviously didn't. So I just decided that that would be it. As I was about to walk out the door and I turned around and I saw her face, and then I left, I was fighting with all my strength the overwhelming feeling that grew stronger by the second, that was yelling at me to go back. I went back to the hotel and just lay on the bed staring at the ceiling, thinking of what to do. I decided that I have to see her again, to give _us_ another chance. I'm going to ask her to come with me, Sam." Sam's face fell at this, wondering what would happen with her. Julian must've noticed this too, as he quickly made his works okay. "You too, Samson, obviously. But, as I was saying, I don't want to live without her. I want to be a family. I love her too much to lose her for any amount of time. If only one night was horrible for the both of us, I can't imagine what the future would be like. But I am glad you asked me here, Sam. I want to ask you if it's okay, if you wouldn't mind. I know you have your own life here, and I don't want you to give it up if you don't want to, so –"

Sam scoffed, which took Julian off guard. "Julian, Brooke's been there for me, she helped me more than I can imagine, more than I ever thought she would. You've been useful too … I guess." Sam smiled, and she thought she saw a hint of a smirk on his face. "But obviously it's okay! You know I'm interested in the film business, and I can come back and see everyone every once in a while. And there's schools in LA, and that way I don't have to deal with Principal Buttkiss anymore. So … are you going to ask her to marry you?"

Julian blinked, shocked. He leaned back into his seat, as if the words were a knife, and Sam was holding the blade right to his face. "What? No! I told you her reaction when I told her I loved her, and even though she knows she can't do anything about me saying it anymore, it still freaked the hell out of her. It's what put us in a crossroads and let us to this hopefully temporary separation." He sighed. "I'd only ask her that if she were to ever tell me she loved me." Sam saw something in his eye, a gleam?

"You already have a ring, don't you?" Sam questioned, raising one of her eyebrows.

This made Julian laugh, which surprised them both. "Maybe," he chuckled, smiling. "Okay, yeah. But that's just because I think she does love me, or is on the right track. Well that's only if she'll go with me to LA."

Sam just sat there smiling at him, lost in a million thoughts of what the future could be; she saw Brooke, and Julian, on top of the apartment building they lived in. They were taking in the view as Sam ran up the stairs with a little boy on her tail. It wasn't Jamie, Sam could only guess it would be Brooke and Julian's future child; just Sam's luck, she'd get a little brother. Well if he _was_ like Jamie, then he was okay. The two of them ran up, the little boy, whom Sam imagined was called Keith. Jamie had picked the name, since he had asked if he could. Sam ran behind them jumping and grabbing both Brooke's and Julian's shoulder, going in between them, and putting her arms around them. Keith ran and hugged Brooke's leg, and she picked him up, and the four of them group hugged. Sam laughed internally. Oh god, group hugs. I bet those are Julian's fault, she thought, rolling her eyes.

"Um, Sam? What are you staring at?" She didn't answer, she was just still smiling like an idiot. "Sam? Sam? Samson?" He was now waving his hand in front of her face, wondering where her mind had taken her.

Sam shook her head, coming back to reality. Hmph. She liked her own little perfect world. Brooke was happy, Julian was happy, and so was she. It seemed _awesome_. "You know what, Julian?"

"No, I don't Sam. Why don't you tell me what?"

You deserve her, you know. She deserves you too. You guys deserve each other, and a happy ending, you both _really_ deserve that."

**A/N: So that's chapter two for you guys! New episode was so heart-breaking. Julian coming back and to be with Brooke would be the only thing that would mend my broken Brulian heart right now. Sadly, that's apparently not supposed to happen for a while. And now we have a hiatus! Grr! But yeah, first half of this was rushed written before the new episode, and the rest was written now and it's 1:30am now. I seem to write and publish in the morning? And guys, I probably won't keep posting daily, though the next scene should be pretty easy. I personally think this isn't the greatest, but it is infact longer. The next one should be super long though, but because of that it probably won't be on late in the week. Review, please! Green button below, a few words, your opinions, ways for me to improve; it'd mean alot! Thank you guys!**


	3. Sometimes Asking Is The Hardest Thing

**A/N: Hey guys. First of all, Lelina pointed something out to me. 'Keith' is **_**not**_** supposed to be Brulian's baby's name! My friend was here when I wrote it, and she changed it on me :(**

**The baby is supposed to be named 'Joey Alexander Baker' just so you all know :)**

**I'm sorry this took so long! This chapter will have so much emotion and meaning to it, and I'm afraid if I don't convey it correctly, that'll be another reason I lose readers. This is a longer version of 6.19, but it may be split into one, two, **_**maybe**_**, but I doubt it, three chapters.**

**I just want to say thanks to all reviewers, reading your reviews are great. I love all the positive comments. Hope you enjoy what's to come!**

**And, Vette, good news, JL and BP are not endgame, LOL! :D**

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the actors of the show.

**Chapter Three**

Brooke had been planning to just sit down at her dining room table and just sketch for the day, to try to keep her mind off the fact that Julian's flight left that _day_, but as she sat down to work, her phone rang. It was Peyton. She had called her God knows how many times since yesterday. Brooke had never picked up, and it was probably freaking the crap out of Peyton. Brooke put on a fake smile, and cleared her throat before she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Brooke! Where have you been? I've been trying to call you since yesterday!"

"Oh … Sorry, Peyt. I've been … preoccupied, is all."

Peyton slyly smiled. "With Julian, perhaps?"

Fighting off the tears that just his name brought up, Brooke cleared her throat once more before answering. "I'd … rather not talk about it."

Peyton could tell right then that something had gone wrong. She remembered when she had saw Julian at her and Lucas' house the day before. That had freaked her out a bit, but this? She had never heard Brooke so unhappy. And this was probably just the gist of it. Now, Peyton was truly scared, she _knew_ something had gone horribly wrong. "Oh, okay. It's okay, B. Davis, we don't have to talk about it." She paused, an idea coming to mind where she could inconspicuously look over her best friend, but having an excuse to make it look like she's not doing just that. "Hey, why don't you come over for a bit? I need help with wedding details, and who better to help me with all this girly stuff than my maid of honour?"

Brooke almost smiled. She knew Peyton was just doing this to look over her, and even though looking at wedding stuff could be pretty bad for her heart; some girl time _could _in fact be a good distraction. "Sure, I'll be right over, Peyt."

***

Sam and Julian were just leaving the café, Julian ending up having to pay for everything, including the huge breakfast Sam bought. But she gave him the puppy dog look that she had gotten from Brooke, and when he saw it, he sighed, and gave the waitress the money.

A little while later, the two of them were sitting on a bench at the Rivercourt, where they had been for about ten minutes. "So, you know the plan?"

"Samson … I'm not so sure about this. When I told her I loved her and she said no, that hurt bad enough. What if she says no? I can't take that. What if –"

"Stop. You know as much as I do you'll never know if you don't try. What if you never found Lucas' movie? What if Brooke never found me? What if? You have to stop asking the what ifs, and just go with reality. The only what if here that matters is, what if she says _yes_?" And with that, Sam got up off the bench and walked away.

***

Brooke and Peyton were in Peyton's kitchen; huddled over a book her wedding designer had given her. It was full of different cakes, flowers, decorations; basically everything for a wedding. Brooke hadn't mentioned once anything about what had happened and Peyton didn't bring it up. She knew if Brooke wanted to talk about it, she would bring it up herself; there was no point in Peyton trying to pry the information out of her. Although Peyton had tried to ask her earlier, but Brooke just quickly changed the subject.

Brooke had been there for about an hour or two, and all they had talked about was the wedding and Peyton. Broke tried to keep conversations about her to a minimum. The only thing in her life she would talk about was Sam, and how she had reunited with Jack. Once Peyton tried to sneak Julian into that conversation, though, Brooke pointed out something in the book, trying to distract her.

Just then, Brooke's phone vibrated. She had it on the dining room table; it was above where the book was, in front of them. Brooke didn't reach for it; she pretended to ignore it. This surprised Peyton. Brooke was usually attached to her phone; whenever it would ring, she would grab it right away. "Aren't you going to get that?"

Brooke had her reasons for not answering it. Like she had earlier this week, she thought it would be Julian, and she was afraid of the conversation they would have. But she didn't want to tell Peyton that, so she looked up at Peyton's confused expression and gave her a very believable excuse. "I'm spending time with you, Peyton. Whoever it is, if the message is that important they can leave a voicemail." And with that, Brooke looked back down at the book, hoping Peyton would drop it.

Of course, Peyton wasn't going to let it go so easily. No matter where Brooke was or who she was with, her phone rang, she'd answer it. Peyton looked at Brooke, then at her phone and said, "Fine, if you won't answer it, I will." Peyton reached for the phone and Brooke did too, hoping to get it before Peyton did so she could just press ignore. But Peyton beat her to it and opened the phone to answer. "Hello?"

Brooke gave Peyton a look, and Peyton was reminded of the saying 'if looks can kill.' She sighed, "Yeah, she's here. Just too stubborn to answer her phone herself. I'll let you talk to her." She held out the phone to Brooke, and whispered, "It's Sam."

Brooke sighed internally, silently thanking the Gods that it was Sam and not _him_. "Hey Sam. No, I'm just at Peyton's helping her plan the wedding. No, not my wedding! Why would you think that? No reason, huh? Fine, don't tell me. Did you have a fun time at the café? Who were you with? Fine don't tell me that either," Brooke paused, laughing slightly. "But I'm at Peyton's right now. Can't it wait? Ugh, fine. I have to work on Peyton's wedding dress anyway. Ok, bye. Love you too."

Brooke set her phone down and looked at Peyton. She sighed. "Sam wants me to go to Clothes Over Bros. I have no idea why."

"It's okay, like you said to her, you have my wedding dress to work on," Peyton laughed, and then stopped abruptly, when she remembered something Brooke had said into the phone. "Brookie … did you say 'not my wedding'?"

Brooke nodded. "Yeah, Sam asked me if it was mine. That child makes no sense sometimes." She said this as she was slowly getting up and getting her stuff. "Well, I better go, I'll talk to you later, Peyt. Tell Luke I said hi."

"Will do. Love you B. Davis."

"Love you too, P. Sawyer."

***

Brooke had been at her store for a while. An hour, she guessed. She was sitting down at her desk; she decided to work on her new line than Peyton's wedding dress; she didn't want to risk getting tears on it.

She had the radio beside her worktable turned up just enough so that she could hear it, but not loud enough for anything else. It wasn't low enough to be called background music, though. The radio announcer said what the song that had just played was called; Brooke didn't really listen because she didn't like or know the song. After a few advertisements, one for TRIC, another for the bakery across town, a song Brooke recognized came on the radio. It was more of a fast-pitched song, and Brooke turned it up; it wasn't because she enjoyed the song, even though she did, a lot, but she turned it up to drown out her sorrows. Just let them fade away with each loud, fast note that came out of the speakers of her radio.

As she turned up the volume, louder and louder, it wasn't long until _She's So Lovely_ filled up the whole store, and echoed off the walls. She remembered the last time a fast song had played in her store, and then shunned the memory from her mind completely; remembering whom she had a conversation with afterwards.

She got up from her worktable and walked towards the counter; she had left her sharpener over there. She turned her back towards the door, and as she did, she heard the bell above the door ding, signifying someone's entrance. Brooke kept her eyes on her counter, afraid to turn around, afraid to hear …

"Oh what? No Molly Ringwald dance this time?"

His voice. Oh, no. She wasn't ready to talk to him now, if ever. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping she was just imagining him being there. She already had her arms folded, so she inconspicuously pinched her arm to see if she was dreaming. It hurt. Which meant she wasn't. Damn. She slowly turned around, taking a deep breath, knowing seeing him would knock the breath out of her, and she had a feeling that it would even more, because with the words he just spoke, there _had_ to be a grin along with them.

There was.

She took another deep breath, and laughed as realistically as she could; she hoped it sounded realistic to him, at least. "Nope. Aren't you supposed to be in LA?" She said the last part like she didn't care, but it was obvious she did.

"The plane doesn't leave until tonight."

"Oh. That's good, I guess. You all packed?"

Julian looked up as he answered her. "Yeah …"

Brooke slowly walked up to him and put her arms around his waste. "Julian … I don't want you to leave."

He looked down into her hazel eyes, and could swear he feel tears forming in his own. "I don't want to go either, Brooke, but the movie's cancelled, you know that."

"Yeah, I know. That still doesn't make it any less harder." She laid her head on his chest, and she could do nothing to stop the tears that over-flowed in her eyes now.

They stood there for a while; Brooke's head on his chest, him lightly rubbing her back, her arms wrapped so tightly around him that, if it wasn't her, it would've hurt and he would've moved away from the tight grip. They both were crying not-so-silent tears; neither of them wanted to leave the other.

Slowly, Brooke moved away from his chest; not out of his grip, but so she could look up to see his face. Well as much as she could through her blurry sight, anyway. She saw he was crying too, and she didn't expect that. She threw her arms around him again, her head in between his shoulder blade and his neck. He heard her faintly mumble, "Oh, Julian!" before the sobs began, and she could get no more words out.

He brought her around the counter, and they both slowly slid down with their backs against it. She had her head against his shoulder, and he put his head against hers. Her sobs turned quieter, as the radio had, which Julian had turned down as they walked by. Her sobs had turned to cries, and now they were slowly turning to silent tears. Although the sound decreased, the tears never stopped, nor slowed.

When she finally felt like she wouldn't fall down if she got up, she slowly stood up, pulling Julian up with her. She grabbed a Kleenex from the counter, not that it did much; only helping her see for a few moments. She grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. "Julian … does this mean … does this mean, this is … goodbye?" Her voice had started in a whisper, and seemed to get more hoarse as the sentence went on. She barely got the last word out; if Julian had been maybe about a meter away, he probably wouldn't of heard it.

"Well, actually, that's why I'm here …" He paused, putting his hands on either side of her cheeks. "Just when we said goodbye last night, it was unbearable to me. I realized that, right now, there are things between my hands that I _cannot_ live without. So, maybe … this doesn't have to be goodbye."

"Julian what are you saying?" He rolled his eyes, and she had a feeling she knew what he was about to say. "No, I mean about the last part. 'This doesn't have to be goodbye'?"

A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I mean just that. This doesn't have to be goodbye." Julian took one hand of off her face and reached into her back pocket. Brooke's jaw dropped. It was a plane ticket.

"Oh … Um … Wow." She paused, thinking of a plausible reason. "What about Sam? I am _not_ leaving her here."

Julian's full-blown grin came upon his face as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out another ticket. "As if I'd ever forget about Samson."

Brooke felt more tears stream her already wet face. But these were more of the happy type of tears. "Julian … I don't know what to say."

"Well, you could say yes?"

"But –"

"Now you stop right there. I know you'll give me a thousand and one reasons why you shouldn't or can't go. I know you. So I'm going to give you just one reason why you_ should_ go."

He put the tickets on the counter, and put his hand on her cheek again. "Brooke Davis, you're the most amazing woman I have ever met, I love you. Come with me."

* * *

**A/N: *gasp* I'm back! that shoulda been in the first A/N but I wanted to put it here :D**

**The song used is She's So Lovely by Scouting For Girls.**

**I got it from Melissa's Brulian youtube video :D**

**Sam is more of an intellectual, advice-giving character in this story. Trust me though, she'll go back to the Sam we all know soon enough. **

**There's a line from Twilight in here, anyone know what it is?**

**This part of the story will probably be in three chapters. I'll try to update as soon as possible, but I make no promises.**

**For all you guys at FanForum, HERE YOU GO! Now you can leave me alone :D**

**Questions for the reviews:**

** 1) What do you think will happen next?**

** 2) Do you think this chapter pretty much sucks? (cause I think it might)**

** 3) What do you **_**want**_** to see happen next?**

**Thanks again, guys! And please click the little green box below, because those reviews make me feel oh so special.**


	4. Deciding

**A/N: Guys, guys, guys! I am **_**sooo**_** sorry! It has been fifteen **_**freaking**_** days! I've just been having **_**horrible **_**writer's block, so please forgive me.**

**I do have some good news though; me and my good friend Pat (alwaysnathanhaley) will be doing a joint Brulian story very, **_**very**_** soon. We made a joint user (PatandBecca) so go and alert onto that, because, hopefully, we shall get that started soon. Don't worry though, guys, that doesn't mean I'm abandoning this story! **

**I would like to thank **_**everyone**_** for their reviews, I love them.**

**But, enough stalling, I hope you like! And also, because of such the long wait I made you guys go through, this chapter is _huge!_ Nearly 8,000 words guys. Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill nor am I in any way affiliated with any of the actors of the show.

**Chapter Four**

"_Brooke Davis, you're the most amazing woman I have ever met, I love you. Come with me." _The words Julian had _just_ said replayed over in Brooke's mind over and over again. It was amazing, after just two weeks, when he had first told her he loved her, and she hadn't, he said it, with so much passion and _honesty_; two things, especially the latter, that Brooke hadn't felt in a relationship in a _long _time, if _ever_. It had been about three or four minutes of pure silence now, but Brooke wasn't really counting, it was just a guess. She was just looking up, staring into his eyes, and his words would not stop rewinding and playing through in her head again and again, no matter how much her brain tried to press the stop button.

Brooke closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and opened her mouth to speak. She felt a hand stop the words, as words of his own filled the air. "You said you were tired of being a footnote in someone else's love story," He paused, taking his hand off her mouth and reaching for her hands. "Maybe it's time we write our _own_ epic love story."

Brooke took a shaky breath and closed her eyes, for longer this time. She felt a single tear escape, even though she had been trying desperately to keep every single one of them in. She leaned her head down, so when she opened her eyes she was staring down at their hands; intertwined. "Julian … when does the plane even leave?"

He put his hand on her chin, tilting her head upwards, forcing her to look at him. "Tonight," He paused, seeing the look of panic fly across her face before she quickly hid it. He began to ramble. "Look, Brooke, I know it's a lot to ask, and I'm not telling you that you have to decide _right this second_, but just do me a favour and _think about it_, okay? Just please, do that much."

She nodded, unsure of her voice at the moment. He leaned down to kiss her forehead as she closed her eyes. "I'll see you later… I hope." And with that, he released her hands, and walked out the door.

She stood there staring at the door he had just walked out of for what seemed like hours. She slowly turned back to the counter where the two tickets; one for her, and one for Sam, had been placed. She picked them up, moving them from hand to hand. Her initial reaction was shock, of course. Then, to her complete surprise, she found herself getting irritated. So he was allowed to leave, but if they wanted to stay together _she_ had to leave _her_ life? Why couldn't he stay here? Ugh. Then another thought crossed her mind. Damn, if Sam had _anything_ to do with this, she is _so_ grounded for life!

She picked up her keys and her purse, _and_, to her dismay, the tickets. It seemed her hand wouldn't let them go; like they were glued there, or something. She walked out of Clothes Over Bros, locking the door behind her. She then went to her car to drive; she knew _exactly_ where she needed to go to rant about the events that had just taken place.

---

Here she was, at TRIC. She _really_ hoped Peyton was working today, and not doing something else. She probably _was_ here, though. Now that production had been cancelled, TRIC was now back to a bar, with the music studio, so she was probably in the office sorting out everything, from not being able to be in there for a while.

She basically power walked from the back door she had entered, to where Peyton's office was, which was pretty amazing, seeing how she was in four and a half inch heels.

She reached the office, seeing Peyton was in there, and _almost_ breathed a sigh of relief, but didn't; if Peyton wasn't there, she'd probably even rant to the empty room, for all Brooke cared. She opened the door, pulling on it with such force, that it quite possibly could've come off by the hinges. She then walked in, slamming the door behind her. She walked into Peyton's line of sight, and Peyton's eyes bulged, and a surprised and confused look appeared on her face. Brooke seemed pissed, or irked, or annoyed, or _something_. Peyton opened her mouth to ask what's up, but, as Brooke had kept walking since she had opened the door, she was now right in front of Peyton's desk, and she very quickly, in a tone of disbelief and something like repulsion, she blurted out, "Your ex-boyfriend just asked Sam and I to go with him to LA."

Peyton, probably trying to be funny, raises her eyebrow as she asks, "Jake?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, and gave Peyton 'I'm being serious' look, as she even said the words aloud. "I'm serious, Peyton." As she stated this, she felt her anger, or whatever it was, fading. She slowly sat down at the chair across from Peyton, as Peyton slowly sat up.

"Well, then. What did you say?"

"I didn't _say_ anything." Brooke stated truthfully.

The confused look sprung up on the face that was surrounded by those blonde curls, once more. "Brooke, that doesn't make any sense? Explain."

Brooke started rambling again, but this was not a ranting type of ramble, it was a desperate, 'I need someone to talk to' type of ramble. "Well, he came to the store, and made one of his 'humourous' comments, probably trying to lighten the mood between us, or something. I asked him when he was leaving, and he said tonight. I just couldn't take it anymore and went over, hugged him, and told him I didn't him to leave. I just broke down in his arms, Peyton. I don't even know how long we just sat there, and he let me let it all out in his arms. But however much time went by, I did _eventually_ stop, and he helped me up, and so I asked the question that seemed to have the most obvious answer to me at the time; that that was goodbye. Then he said another of his heartfelt lines, then he came out with this line that confused the hell outta me; _'This doesn't have to be goodbye,'_ were his exact words. I asked him about it, and then he shocked me by pulling out a plane ticket. I, of course, said the most obvious thing that I would inquire about; what about Sam? And, of course, once more, he was _one_ step ahead of me. He pulled out another ticket, and, and …" Brooke paused, as she felt tears in her eyes again. Peyton came around from where she was now leaning; by the side of the desk, and went and hugged her best friend from behind. Brooke took a deep breath, smiled up at Peyton, and then continued. "And then I started stuttering, something about me not knowing what to say, or do, and," Brooke decided to keep out the part about him saying he loved her; because she hadn't even _told_ Peyton about the first time, two weeks ago. So she skipped it. "He just said he would give me time to decide, because he knew that was a huge decision to make. He said he hoped to see me later, and then he just simply placed a kiss on my forehead and walked out."

Peyton blinked. "Um, wow. What are you going to do, Brooke?"

"I don't even know, that's the thing. Like, my friends are here, my _life_ is here! But I can't get that part of my mind, and my heart that is screaming at me that if Julian goes, part of my life won't be here … you know?"

Peyton nodded. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It's what I felt when Luke asked me to marry him, the _first_ time."

"Yeah … but, Peyton, the thing is, _you're_ also here; my best friend, who's getting married in just a few weeks, where _I_ will be the maid of honour! And you're having a _baby_, for Christ sakes! How can I leave you now? We came back for each other, P. Sawyer, how could I leave _that_?"

"Brooke, _you_ came back for _me_, and I love you for that, but I want you to be happy more than anything, and if going to L.A. is what will do that, then I support you 100%."

"But you weren't happy in L.A., Peyton. And still, what about you being married _and_ pregnant?!"

"Brooke, I was unhappy there because I was _alone_. Because the boy that I loved asked me to be with him, and I said _no_. Just think about that, alright? And about the wedding, you can still come back here for it, and I'm _sure_ we can still wedding plan over the phone."

"Yeah, but … but, what if it doesn't work out, Peyton, then what?"

Peyton smiled. "What if it does?"

---

Julian came out of Clothes Over Bros, and after a quick glance at his jeep that was parked across from the store, and decided to take a walk. As he put his hands on his pockets, and kept his eyes to the ground, he didn't know where he was going, he just let his feet take him where they would go.

God only knows how long he walked, but as he looked up, he found himself at the Rivercourt. His feet hurt, and he always heard everyone saying how if you needed somewhere to just think, this was the place to go. He went over to the bench closest to the waves and sat down, just staring at them. Other than the sound of the water crashing onto the shore, there was pure silence. He sighed. It was nice to finally get some peace and quiet. But that wasn't going to last long, he soon realized, as he heard footsteps and saw the face of someone in his peripheral vision.

It was Lucas Scott, and he was coming to sit beside him.

Part of him wanted to turn around and punch the guy. He was the one who had made Brooke into this person who had been hurt so much in the past that she felt the need to protect her heart so greatly now. Also, Julian would be lying if he said that by punching him, it wouldn't be payback for Lucas punching him about two months back.

But another part of him actually wanted to open up to Lucas about what had just gone down. Of course it would be awkward, but Lucas _did_ know Brooke, and he could have some pretty good advice up his sleeve, probably came with being a writer and all. Julian couldn't believe he was going to talk about his girl, to his girl's ex boyfriend, but it looked like it.

Lucas kept walking until he reached the bench, and then sat beside where Julian was. "Hey man, not to sound mean or anything, but I thought you were going back to LA?"

Julian laughed. "Don't sound _too_ eager to get rid of me, or I just might stay." Julian paused, laughing again. "No, actually, I'm leaving tonight."

"Oh. Well, I know you already answered this question when Peyton asked it yesterday, but seriously man, what about Brooke?"

"Well, actually, can I tell you something, man? And promise not to be a jerk about it. I know that'll be hard, but please, just _try_?" He said jokingly, but still with a serious edge to his voice.

"…Sure man, what's up?"

"Well, it actually answers your question before. Basically, I just made about the billionth embarrassing speech that I have made in the last, oh I don't know, two months?"

"Oh, I know those speeches. I've had to make them before, they're not fun," Lucas added with a laugh. "But anyway, go on."

"Well, I was in Clothes Over Bros, and I asked Brooke to go with me to L.A. Sam too."

Lucas blinked, his eyes widening. This was _not_ the answer he was expecting. Sure, he could see a change in Julian since he had gotten here; Brooke was probably the reason for that, but he didn't actually know he was ready for that commitment, let alone him being the one to suggest it. He quickly recovered from his state of shock. "Wow. What did she say to _that_? I'm guessing if she said yes, you wouldn't be here moping."

Julian sighed. "The thing is, she didn't _say_ anything. Other than asking me when the flight left, she just nodded when I said she didn't have to decide right that second. I probably shocked the hell out of her by asking her. Damn, I screwed things up, didn't I?" He asked, shaking his head.

"No, I don't think you did. Just think, you asked her to leave her hometown and go to a big city with a guy she's been dating for only two months, who haven't even moved in together, or gotten to the "in love" phase." Lucas realized what he said could be taken as rude so he added, "No offence."

Julian laughed, slightly. "None taken. But that's the thing …"

"What's the thing?" Lucas asked, confused.

"I _do_ love her, and I told her that, about a week ago."

"Oh, wow. And?"

"And I found out that she cares about me, a lot, and that she likes me."

"Wow, I'm not going to lie, man, those are a couple of low blows. What happened after that?"

"Yeah, I know. Well, after, it seemed like we were avoiding each other up until yesterday when I found out about the movie and I called her and told her. Then last night I went and saw her and said what we both thought was goodbye. Then I got a text early this morning from Sam, who told me to meet her at the diner. She basically told me what I had been suggesting to myself all night. After I talked to her, I went to get two more tickets, one for her, and one for Brooke, and I went to Clothes Over Bros. And here we are."

Lucas noticed the bitter way Julian uttered the last sentence. "Look, you never know what she'll say. Just hope for the best. It's Brooke Davis we're talking about, you have to take a risk, or you'll never regret what you missed out on. And you took a risk, and you can't take it back. Now you just let it play out, and what happens, happens. If you two are meant to be, you'll end up together. I figured that out the long and hard way with Peyton. Hopefully you're luckier and it just all comes together." He smiled.

"I hope so too." They both were silent, and the silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't the most comfortable, either. "You know what's weird?" Julian started, as his voice broke through the quiet.

"What?"

"Honestly, I thought it would be weird talking to you, considering you're Brooke's ex, but it really wasn't, you know?"

"Yeah, I agree."

"So, does this mean we're, friends, or something?"

Lucas laughed at the utter disbelief that was very noticeable in Julian's voice. "Looks that way."

"Wow, this place is just _full_ of surprises. Everything I didn't think would happen did. What's next, we're going to see Reese around being a good person?" He laughed.

"Now I think that is near to impossible." Lucas joined in on the laughter.

After the laughter died down, Julian spoke again as he started to get up. "Well, I'm going to go, pack, and everything." He paused, wondering whether or not to add to what he had said. "Thanks."

Lucas smiled. "Don't mention it."

---

After a huge hug, Peyton's light-hearted comment about the next time she talked to Brooke, she better hear the waves behind her, and '_goodbye_'s and '_I love you_'s just in case that was the last time they saw each other for a while, Brooke walked out of Peyton's office and down the hall into the bar area.

The more she thought about it, the more she wouldn't mind another opinion. Someone who knew her, but wasn't technically involved in the situation. She saw Chase bartending, and slightly remembered how he could sometimes be really intellectual and have a way with words when he wanted to, and he knew her pretty well. She decided to go talk to him.

"Hey, long time no talk." She smiled as she sat down on the stool across from where he stood.

He noticed the fake smile she had on her face and immediately, well not _immediately_ but still, he knew something was bothering her. While he noticed this, Brooke was second-guessing whether to confide in him or not. She didn't have long to think though, as Chase answered with, "Hey, what's up? Something on your mind?"

"Ha, yep." She left her sentence there. She wasn't going to just blurt out just in case he didn't really want to listen. She'd leave that up to him before she started to rant.

"I'm guessing you want to talk about it. Come on, spill."

She sighed before she started to talk. "So, you know Julian, right?

"Your boyfriend?"

"That's the one."

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Well, we've been dating almost two months now, but that's not the point. The point is, today he came to my store and, heaskedSamandItogowithhimtoLA". She blurted out the last part, rushing to get it all out.

Chase blinked and took a second before responding. "Ok, first off, Brooke, five years later and you _still_ talk fast. Can you try repeating that a little bit slower for people who _don't_ speak as fast as Brooke Davis?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay … He. Asked. Sam. And. I. To. Go. With. Him. To. LA." She spoke each word slowly, emphasizing each one, joking around with him.

He blinked and leaned back. He had heard her correctly, but hearing it for sure was just, whoa. "LA? Wow. I'm not going to lie, that was fast."

"I know. It'd be crazy to go, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. So … I guess that means Owen's out of the picture?" He asked as he poured wine into a glass for her.

Brooke sighed at the mention of her ex. She sent Chase a look that was meant to say 'you're not _seriously_ bringing him up.' Along with that look she answered him with words. "Uhh, Owen had a problem with _Sam_." She exaggerated on the word Sam, hoping to get her point across.

It didn't seem to work. "Well maybe you didn't let him in."

She scoffed. "So he let himself into my assistant?" She asked rhetorically, disgustedly and even a little peeved. _Can't he just drop it?!_ After she said it, she sent him a look with a nod that was meant to say _told you,_ as it seemed like with that statement, she had won that battle.

There was a silence, not an awkward one, however, as the two walked along the bar, Chase behind the counter, Brooke behind the seats. Suddenly, he stopped walking turned to look at her, bringing the subject away from Owen and, from what she guessed, trying to help her make a decision.

"You know, when you left for New York, sometimes I wished I'd gone after you."

"So you're saying I should go…" She noted, as she stopped walking as well.

"I don't know. I mean, I didn't go and eventually I found Mia, and she's been great." He said this with a huge goofy grin on his face that reminded her of when her and Julian had just started dating.

"So you're saying I should stay…" Brooke stated, getting a little confused with the point he was trying to get across.

"I guess I'm trying to say you'll always be able to find someone, Brooke. I mean come on, look at you." He gestured towards her with his hand.

She smiled. "Thank you."

"You know," he started as he leaned on the counter with his elbows, "you remind me of that Springsteen line; 'There were ghosts in the eyes of all the boys you sent away.'" He was looking her right in the eye, so the words meant more. "Figure out what you want, Brooke. Until you let someone in, you'll always be alone." He got up from the counter and went to go serve someone on the other side of the bar, leaving Brooke with an almost empty wine glass, a lot to think about, and still an undecided question, just _waiting_ to be answered.

---

Julian had made his way back to his hotel, and was now packing his remaining belongings that had not been stuffed in some form of travel case. He was thinking of his earlier conversation with Lucas, but his thoughts soon turned to Brooke, and how great of a life, and a family they could have in LA. His thoughts were somewhat interrupted by a knock at his door. "Come in, it's open," he mumbled, wondering who would be at his door. He hoped it was Brooke and Sam, with suitcases packed, ready to go and start a new life together.

That hope was quickly shattered as he looked up and saw a very pregnant Peyton standing in his doorway. He stood up from where he was beside the bed. "Oh hey. Come to _beg_ me to stay?" He asked rhetorically and sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Peyton, not really in the mood for his dry humour, cut right to the chase. "Brooke said you asked her to go to LA."

"Did she?" The rhetorical and sarcastic edge to his voice still quite noticeable.

Peyton sighed, rubbing her stomach. "I _really_ hope you're serious. Because she hasn't been serious about anybody in a _long_ time."

Julian turned around and stood up, picking up the suitcase he had just zipped up. "You haven't trusted me since the day I came to town."

"Because you _looked_ like you had an axe to grind." She replied defensively.

He put the suitcase down on the bed, and looked right at her as he answered. "Maybe I did," He paused, let his guard down, and continued. "But somewhere along the line, this place changed me. _Brooke_ changed me. I told Brooke I love her because I do, I invited Sam because I wanted us to be a family. I wouldn't have it _any other way_." And for the first time since Peyton had answered the room he actually sounded _real_, _truthful_, _honest_.

Peyton's eyes widened slightly, and she blinked back the couple tears she felt in her eyes. He _loved_ Brooke? Why hadn't Brooke told her? This was normally something you would tell your best friend. She was surprised Brooke hadn't told her this important tidbit earlier when they talked. Peyton shook her head and came back to reality. "Alright." She paused, looking up at him. "For the record, I _do_ believe you. So, I hope it works out."

"Thank you."

Peyton turned to walk out the door, but Julian thought of something he'd like to ask. "When she told you … she didn't mention which way she was leaning, by any chance?"

She turned around to look at him and shook her head. "No."

"'No', she's not going, or 'no', she didn't mention it?" He asked, with a few hand gestures.

"I really have no idea what she's going to say. But I _do_ know this, if Brooke says no, it won't be because she doesn't care for you. She's just been _very_ protective of her heart for a long time." She paused, wanting her next two words to have a lot of emphasis, and leave a mark in Julian's mind. "She's afraid."

She walked out the door and left Julian in the silence her words left behind. They kept replaying in his mind, over and over. Although they were all things he already knew, hearing them repeated by her best friend seemed to have different meaning. He had know idea what, or why, he just knew that Peyton was right, but he was willing to do anything to make those words change, for the better.

---

She didn't know why she was walking this way. Well yeah, she did. It was probably the best place to think that she knew of. But she didn't really want to think, about it, or anything at the moment. It was just all so hard. How was just one person supposed to make a decision that would affect so much more?

She made her way to the Rivercourt, and almost walked right by as she saw who was sitting down at the bench. But she didn't. Luke looked like he was having a really rough day, and maybe helping him with his troubles would get her mind off her own.

She walked up to the bench he was at and sat beside him, putting her arm around his shoulder. "What's on your mind, Luke?"

He looked at his friend, and pondered on telling her or not. No, that was Peyton's job. So he just told her part of what was bugging him. "It's just all this stuff with the movie, and, I just can't believe it got cancelled, just like that. If we had gotten _one_ little clip of film through the lens, this movie would still be on. Do you believe that!? Just _one_." He sighed, shaking his head in frustration. This was bugging him a lot more than he realized.

"Luke, I know. I may not have had a big of a part in this movie as you, but I still feel horrible that it's cancelled, just like that. But I'll bet you in a year or two some other movie producer will come along," Brooke paused, as she was interrupted by a thought. _'Some other movie producer.' Whoever he'll be, he'll never be as good as Julian Baker. _She continued, and her pause was so short that it went unnoticed. "He'll find _An Unkindness of Ravens_ and want to make it into the blockbuster it was meant to be. Don't worry Luke, if it's meant to be, it'll happen."

He gave her a little squeeze. "Thanks, Brooke. Now … anything you'd care to tell me?"

She was confused. "Um, no?"

"Are you sure?" He continued, with the same teasing tone in his voice. "Because I heard a certain _someone_ was invited to LA by some movie producer. Know anything about that?"

She felt her eyes widen, and she wondered how the hell he knew about that. She had this little feeling Julian had talked to him, but she doubted it. Didn't the two dislike each other, a _lot_? _Peyton must've told him_, she decided. But why would Peyton do that? She couldn't see her telling Lucas about that. "I … I don't know what you're talking about, Luke."

"Oh, give it a rest, Brooke, Julian already told me."

So she _was_ right. Her errant thought was actually _correct_. Wow. That was a surprise. "Julian? I thought you two had agreed to disagree?"

"Well, yeah. But that was when I had to _work_ with him." He joked.

"Oh, really now? So you two are all buddy-buddy now?" She laughed.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. But back to the topic at hand. You're not going to change the subject again. Seriously, Brooke, what are you going to do?"

"To be honest, Luke, I don't know." She answered truthfully as she slowly pulled her arm back and placed it in her lap, and looked down at her hands while speaking. "When he asked me, I felt so many emotions pass through my body at the same time. Fear, excitement, joy, disbelief, shock, happiness, desperation; almost everything. I want to go with him, so much, but at the same time I don't, and a part of me is saying I can't. Like I told Peyton, my friends are here and my life is here. How can I just drop everything and go, right?"

"Brooke, it's not like you're going to the other side of the world. You're just going to California. I'm sure you and Peyton will talk on the phone non-stop if you were to go, despite the different time zones. And you two could still work on wedding plans over the phone, through e-mail. And obviously you could come back here for the wedding. –"

He went to continue, but was interrupted. "And the pregnancy?"

He paused on that, but answered her a few seconds after. "She'll be fine, Brooke. And I'm sure you'll get here on record time, and be here to see the little bundle of joy. Now stop using your friends as excuses. What's _really_ holding you back?"

She looked up at him as she answered him in a voice just above a whisper. "He told me he loved me, Luke."

"I know."

"You know?"

"He told me that too."

"Did he tell you how I-I didn't say it back?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And I think you'll never know if you don't try. Now, I have to get back home. You think you'll be okay?"

"Yeah. Go be with your _beautiful_ and _pregnant_ fiancé, I'll be fine."

"Okay." He went to get up and he was walking around the bench as he heard her call his name. "Hey Luke?"

"Yeah, Brooke?"

"Thank you. I think that was exactly what I need to hear right now. You're a good friend."

"You're welcome. If I don't see you again, which means you listened to your heart, and not your head, and you left, I wish you the best. You have my blessing."

She laughed at his choice of words. "Thanks again, Luke. I'll see you."

"See ya."

---

She sat at the Rivercourt for just a few more minutes before deciding to get up. Talking to Luke obviously hadn't helped her _not_ think about the decision she had to make. It seemed nothing did. She thought maybe her work would take her mind off of it. She started walking back to Clothes Over Bros, past the streetlights that were now just turning on, and into the store. It was so much darker inside than it was outside. She walked over to her worktable and turned on her desk light that was clipped to the side. She sat down and tried to absorb herself in her work as she grabbed her pencil and started tapping it on her bottom lip, hoping for an idea to come to her.

Five minutes later, however, she found herself in the same position, pencil still tapping her bottom lip, and as she looked at the blank sheets of paper in front of her, she realized that wasn't what she was really _seeing_. It was like an animated slideshow in front of her eyes, for her only. It was like a re-run of every moment of the life her and Julian had had together so far, and it was probably her favourite little short movie. She seemed to find herself watching it whenever he wasn't around, and it always had meaning, but this time, as it replayed in her eyes, it had another, even deeper meaning. It could signify the end, or the beginning.

The slideshow ended like someone pressing _stop_ on a remote, and the screen just went blank before it returned to normal. Brooke then saw the paper in front of her again, and heard the faint echo of the bell above the door to the entrance of her store. "What, is your next line inspired by Twilight?"

Brooke looked up to see another of her best friends walk through the door, Haley.

Brooke sighed. "What new line? Look around. This place is pretty much a ghost store. Reminds me of Ghost Whisperer." She laughed, but it was obvious it wasn't because she thought it was funny.

"What are you talking about? You can easily turn this place back into the amazing place it once was. You did it once, you can do it again."

"I don't know. You know, I've been thinking …"

"What about?"

"How all my best friends are happy, with families, and jobs, and careers, and then there's me. I have _this_." She gestured with her hand to the store.

"No, no. Don't you be selling yourself short one little bit. You have a godson that loves you and you have Sam. Speaking of which, that's why I'm here." Haley stated as she jumped up onto the counter. "You'll _never_ guess what I saw today."

"I don't know, a unicorn? I've _always_ wanted to see a unicorn." Brooke answer in a dull and uninterested voice.

"No, Little Miss Cranky, I came home today and in my living room I saw my third period English lit class. Taking a stand. They wouldn't leave until I taught them something," Haley paused to laugh. "It was really something to see. And you'll never guess who was there leader."

"Who?"

"Sam. I'd never believe that this was the same girl I found sleeping in a car all those months ago. If I hadn't seen it myself, I'd doubt that. She's changed so much. And it's because of you, Brooke. The stable environment you've given her really helped her. And now she's getting good grades, she's socializing, and I even think she has a budding romance with Jack happening." Brooke smiled at hearing how great her daughter's life was going, but it soon faded when she realized how much that could change if Brooke said 'yes.'

"Wow. That's amazing, Hales. It's so great to hear how far she's come," Brooke stated sincerely as she stood up and walked over to where her friend sat on the counter.

"It really is Brooke, it really is." She put her arms around her and pulled her in for a hug.

After a while, Brooke looked up at Haley with tears in her eyes. Haley noticed. "Whoa, Brooke, honey, what's wrong?"

Brooke closed her eyes tightly, hoping the tears would stop then. They didn't. She opened her eyes again, guessing it was useless, and began to speak in a broken voice. "I can't do it, Hales. It's unfair to her."

"Do what? Unfair to who?"

"To Sam."

"What's unfair to her? Brooke, if you want my help, you're going to have to tell me more than that."

She took a deep and shaky breath. "Go to LA."

"What? Why would you even go to LA in the first place?" Haley questioned, now _really_ confused.

"Because Julian asked me to?" Brooke noted, adding a nervous laugh to the end.

"What? When?"

"Um, tonight?"

"Are you going?" Haley said slowly.

"I don't even know. With what you just told me about Sam … I don't want to take that away from her."

"Brooke, you know just as well as I do that she'd be fine with whatever you decide."

"Yeah, I know."

"Listen, I have to go, I want to tuck Jamie into bed. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Hales. I love you."

"I love you too, Brooke. Do what you think is best, and just know that I'll support you no matter what you choose."

"Okay, thanks again."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Haley walked out the door leaving Brooke alone, leaning against the counter. She looked around the store, and saw the wedding dress she had made for Peyton. The third one, actually. She wondered if that would be her, wearing a Brooke Davis original wedding dress one day. She walked over to the dress and picked it up, putting the hanger over her head, so the dress hung over her. She turned to face the mirror and put her hand on her stomach, wondering if one day, just _one day_ that would actually happen. And as every moment of just that current day passed through her mind, she knew that it would only take one word to have the start of the chance at that one day, just one word. _Yes_.

---

Brooke walked into her house, the pressure and stress of the whole entire day beating down on her. To add to it, as she shut the door and turned around, defeated, just wanting to crawl into her bed and forget the world, but all chances of that happening were shot as Sam actually _skipped_ around the corner, with the biggest of smiles on her face. _I wonder what has her so happy? _Brooke wondered.

"Hey Brooke!!" Sam exclaimed, pulling her foster mother into a huge hug.

"Hey. What has you so happy?" Brooke asked, suspicious.

"Oh no reason," Sam grinned; making it obvious there _was_ a reason, as she walked Brooke over into the hallway.

"Oh come on, spill," Brooke begged, really curious now.

"Okay, well, I heard what Julian asked you, and well, I _really_ think you should go!!" Sam squealed, seeming less and less like her normal character with every sentence that came out of her mouth.

When Brooke realized what she was talking about, she began to grimace. _Oh, no, not her too._

Sam saw the drastic change of looks on Brooke's face and began to catch on to her mood. "Oh come _on_ Brooke, you have to go, you _have_ to!"

Brooke sighed. "Sam, the flight's tonight. If I _was_ going, I'd have no time whatsoever to pack or anything."

The giddy look that was on Sam's face before, returned. "Yeah, I was hoping you'd say that," as she grabbed her foster mom's arm and pulled her into her bedroom. Brooke's suitcases were all piled up onto her bed, fully packed, by Sam.

"Sam … But what about you? You do know he invited you too, you know."

"Yeah, I know." She brought her out of Brooke's room. "Wait here," she held up one finger and ran into her room, coming back out with her dark green duffel bag. She smiled as she plopped it onto the floor outside her door. "I thought of that too."

"Sam … I don't even know if I'm _going_ yet."

"Yeah, just know, that if we go, and I really think we should, that I won't resent you or anything, which is probably what you've been thinking."

"I know. But, you have school."

"They have schools in LA."

"What about Jack?"

This made Sam pause. This was the one thing that would really hurt her to leave behind. "There's phones, instant messaging. We'll keep in touch."

"But I'd need consent forms to take you out of the state, let alone the town!"

"Done, done and done."

"Well, you really _do_ think of everything," Brooke sighed.

"Yeah, pretty much." Sam grinned.

"But, we've only been dating for two months, Sam. Don't you think it's going too fast?"

"No, I don't. If you two are meant to be, there's no speed limit." There was a moment of silence between them. Sam shifted her weight onto her other foot. "Look … You probably want some time to figure out what you want to do. You have about an hour before we'd have to get going to the airport. I'm going to go see Jack, I'll be back in forty-five minutes."

"Okay."

Sam walked out the door, and as she did, Brooke sighed, turned on her heel and walked to her room. Once inside, she turned to her door and slowly shut it, as she leaned her head against the white oak; a few tears running down her cheeks.

She stood there for a moment, took a deep breath then turned around, her weight being supported by the door. Her eyes scanned the perimeter of her room, catching sight of the already packed bags, courtesy of Sam. She moved her sight away from them quickly, only to rest it upon the three photographs on her beside table. One of her and Julian, another of her and Sam, and the last of her, Julian and Sam. She walked over and picked up the picture of the three of them, and as she looked down at it, she noticed a few drops of moisture fall onto the glass. She sighed and fell backwards onto her bed, keeping the picture firmly in hand. It was taken at Clothes Over Bros, about a week before the "ILY" incident.

They looked like one big happy family.

_You could be a family like that in L.A., you know;_ a voice in her head reminded her. She shook her head and moved up towards her pillow, burying her face in it, trying to think of nothing but the smell of Bounce coming from the pillowcase. About a few minutes of this failing task, however, she sat up, throwing her legs over the side of the bed. She put the pictures back on her nightstand, only to reach for the photo of her and Julian, which had been taken on her couch the day Julian had made the sweetest (and probably most embarrassing, for him anyways) speech at the café. The smallest times seemed like so long ago.

She slowly lay down on her bed once more, sideways this time, and just stared at that picture, and soon, so many memories of her and Julian together filled Brooke's head.

"_You must be Julian."_

"_Brooke Davis, I've read all about you."_

"_Oh wow, Breakfast Club. You were the priss?"_

_"Let me guess, you were the stoner?"_

_"If you say so, the ended up together."_

_"This should be business."_

_"I mean, I kiss you, and it gets …"_

_"Definitely, it would be…"_

_"It would be."_

_"Yes."_

_"I want you to have this."_

_"And what is this supposed to be?"_

_"It means we're going steady."_

_"When I first got here, everyone thought I came for a girl, the girl in the book. But I only came here to make a movie. But now … it turns out everyone, was right. I am here for the girl in the book, __**the other girl.**__"_

_"Maybe we should continue this in my bedroom, preferably without our clothes."_

_"Does that look like Mr. Popular to you? I know you're not the person you were in high school, cause I'm not either. And I'm glad because that kid __**never would've stood a chance with you**__."_

_"I love you! I love you! I love you!"_

_"I think you do love me, or you __**could**__ love me, but you're just too stubborn and scared to admit because the last time you gave your heart to someone, it got broken."_

And her ultimate favourite: _"That's a breakdown describing the Brooke Davis I'm looking for."_

_"Gorgeous brunette with an amazing energy and smile. Funny. Intelligent. Kind-hearted. Strong-headed. Simple. Complicated. Motherly. Childish. Tough. Sensitive. Beautiful. Way cooler than she was in high school."_

_"That girl has been nearly __**impossible to find**__, but __**worth every second of the wait.**__"_

Brooke still lay motionless on her bed, her eyes now closed, and she let a small, dry laugh escape her lips at the sweet memories. She wanted so much more memories like that, and others too. She wanted this. She just didn't know if it was the right _time_. Like she had told Sam, they had barely dated for any time at all for Christ's sake! What was he going to do next, ask her to _marry_ him!? But she wanted to go; she knew it deep inside of her. She wanted to, so badly, and Julian deserved to be happy, Sam deserved a family, and Brooke was trying to convince herself that Julian's words the day those three _other_ words had been let out into the open, the words he had said later that day, _"you deserve this_," were true. They were. Yes. But there was still a part of her, a small part, but a part of her nonetheless, that was screaming that she deserved none of this. She didn't deserve the endless waiting and the pain Julian was going through just to wait for her, she didn't deserve having a wonderful and amazing daughter like Sam, and Brooke knew that. Karma's a bitch; she didn't know how many times people had told her _that_ before. Did she really deserve how easy this was going? Okay, maybe it wasn't going absolutely _perfect_, but, a guy waiting for you who wants you anywhere he is, a daughter who will go wherever you want to, just for you and your happiness? Now Brooke thought she deserved a happy ending, but she never thought she could deserve _that_ much. But he did; he _does_. Brooke had to consider that fact, that even though she thought she might not _deserve_ it, she _had_ it, and when do you give up a once in a lifetime chance like this?

The answer to that question came to Brooke after a few moments of silence.

She had made her decision.

* * *

**A/N: WOOT! So, this is chapter four. Sorry for yet another cliffhanger guys, they're needed. And there's a lot more of them coming in my story**, **lol. I'm sorry I made you guys wait so long, I really hope you guys forgive me! Chapter five **_**may**_** take as long, but hopefully not. Chapter five is **_**all**_** BJu, and it's called "The Decision."**

**So **_**please**_** review, it just takes a minute or two! You read through this long chapter, why not give me your thoughts, just click the green button below.**

**Thanks guys!**

**-Becca.**


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